Hey, bitch

When I die, I want someone to keep updating my facebook status to freak people out.

People be like

“It’s colder than i thought it would be in hell.”

“Send food”

“Didn’t anyone tell them I’m claustrophobic?”

“Umm…you guys…can you like…dig me up…I’m 6 feet under the ground in a coffin with my phone so uhhh yeah…”

“Omg, Satan is so funny!”

“Hell isn’t that bad, at least you get internet :)”

“Hitlers a badass!”

“I’m gonna stop by some of your houses, see you guys soon”

(Source: 90daysofautumn, via 3nj0y1ng-l1f3)

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earthnation:

is “????????????????????” an emotion

(via 314eater)

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iamonlydorb:

sucysucyfivedolla:

the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg

oh no I’m not falling for this one again

(via awickeddream)

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just-shadle:

honeyed:

iamintooldmen:

always-cachinnating:

themightynor:

moo58:

miniminihedgehog:

These two were supposedly based on a real couple, who said they wouldn’t board a life boat as long as there were younger people still aboard the ship. They both went below deck, presumably to their room, and that’s the last time they were seen.

;________________;

Isador & Ida Straus
The couple had been married for 41 years at the time of the disaster. They raised six children together, and were almost inseparable. On the rare occasion that they were apart, they wrote each other every day. They even celebrated their birthdays on the same day, although they were well apart from one another. During the sinking, Titanic’s officers pleaded with the 63 year old Ida to board a lifeboat and escape the disaster, but she repeatedly refused to leave her husband. Instead, she placed her maid in a lifeboat, taking her fur coat off and handing it to the maid while saying, “I won’t need this anymore”. At one point, she was convinced to enter one of the last two lifeboats, but jumped out as her husband walked away to rejoin him.
When last seen by witnesses, they were standing on deck, holding each other in a tight embrace. Their funeral drew some 6,000 mourners at Carnegie Hall.
A monument to them still stands in a Bronx cemetery, it’s inscription reads: “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.”

why wasn’t the movie about them

why wasn’t the movie about them

^

^

I cry everytime i see this :’(
This was the only part i cried.

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(Source: lickypickystickyme, via kanyewesticle)

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What I think when kids in my class read

That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA

That’s a COMMA, NOT A PERIOD

Why the hell can’t you pronounce that word?

THE TEACHER JUST CORRECTED YOU WHY’D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN?!?!?!

Can I sleep?

If you can’t read, why’d you raise your hand?

You can’t pronounce THAT word?

WHAT THE HELL

The fuck you like long ass paragraphs for

My skin’s crawling

Oh god not him, his voice sounds like a dying nail on a dying chalkboard

You skipped a line

LOL what was that?

I don’t even.

(Source: youcanbethecaptain, via sarcasm-always-helps)

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scraggay:

I C ANT BREAHTE MY GRANDMA HAS ALZHEIMERS AND JUST SAID TO MY PREGNANT SISTER “DAMN YOU GOT FAT” OMG

(Source: growlithed, via saamtemple)

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goodnightmysweet:

“Hey Mom, i found some money in the dryer. Do you know whose it is?
“No i don’t, how much is there?”
“Not much.”
“Okay then just keep it.”
“Okay, i will.”

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